Explaining Sports Terminology

Aiden: Alright, Sebastian, today I’m going to explain some basic sports terminology to you.

Sebastian: Sports? You mean like chess and ping-pong?

Aiden: Not exactly. I’m talking about more common sports like football, basketball, baseball, and bowling.

Sebastian: Oh, those sports. You mean the ones where people run around and chase balls?

Aiden: Yes, those. Let’s start with football. Do you know what a touchdown is?

Sebastian: Touchdown? Is that when the plane lands?

Aiden: No, in football, a touchdown is when a player carries or catches the ball in the opponent’s end zone. It scores six points.

Sebastian: So, they don’t actually touch anything down? Sounds misleading.

Aiden: [laughs] True, the name can be confusing. Now, in basketball, do you know what a slam dunk is?

Sebastian: Is that when they put the ball in the basket with a lot of force?

Aiden: Exactly! It’s when a player jumps and slams the ball into the hoop.

Sebastian: Do they get extra points for making a loud noise?

Aiden: No, it’s still two points. It’s just a very flashy way to score.

Sebastian: Got it. Loud noises don’t count for extra. Check.

Aiden: Now, in baseball, what’s a home run?

Sebastian: That’s when the player runs home because he forgot his glove?

Aiden: [laughs] No, a home run is when the batter hits the ball out of the park and can run around all the bases to score.

Sebastian: So, he doesn’t actually run home? He just runs in a big circle?

Aiden: Exactly, but he scores a run for his team when he reaches home plate.

Sebastian: They should call it a “circle run” to avoid confusion.

Aiden: [laughs] I’ll suggest that to the league. Now, do you know what a strike is in baseball?

Sebastian: Strike? Is that when the players refuse to play because they want more money?

Aiden: That’s one meaning, but in this case, a strike is when the batter swings at a pitch and misses, or doesn’t swing at a pitch in the strike zone.

Sebastian: So, if they miss, it’s a strike. But if they don’t miss, is it a “hit”?

Aiden: Not necessarily. It can be a hit, a ball, or a foul. It depends on where the ball goes and what the batter does.

Sebastian: This is more complicated than chess. What’s a strike in bowling then?

Aiden: In bowling, a strike is when you knock down all ten pins with your first ball.

Sebastian: Oh, so it’s a good thing in bowling but a bad thing in baseball? That’s confusing.

Aiden: [laughs] Yes, it’s one of those quirky sports things. Different meanings in different contexts.

Sebastian: They should just call it “all-down” in bowling and “swing-miss” in baseball. Problem solved.

Aiden: [laughs] Maybe you should join the sports terminology committee. Now, do you know what an offside is in soccer?

Sebastian: Offside? Is that when a player is on the wrong side of the field?

Aiden: Sort of. It’s when a player is closer to the opponent’s goal than both the ball and the second-to-last defender when the ball is passed to them.

Sebastian: So, they’re not allowed to be ahead of the ball? Do they have to walk backwards?

Aiden: No, they just need to time their runs better to avoid being in an offside position.

Sebastian: Sounds complicated. Can’t they just play tag instead?

Aiden: [laughs] That would make things simpler. Now, in hockey, do you know what a hat trick is?

Sebastian: Hat trick? Is that when the players do magic tricks with their hats?

Aiden: No, it’s when a player scores three goals in a single game.

Sebastian: Do they win a hat for that? Or do they get to keep the puck?

Aiden: Sometimes fans throw hats onto the ice to celebrate, but they don’t win a hat.

Sebastian: I’d want the hat. Maybe with a little propeller on top.

Aiden: [laughs] I’ll see what I can do. Lastly, do you know what a Grand Slam is in tennis?

Sebastian: Grand Slam? Is that a wrestling move?

Aiden: No, it’s when a player wins all four major tournaments in a single year: the Australian Open, French Open, Wimbledon, and US Open.

Sebastian: So, they don’t actually slam anything?

Aiden: Nope, it’s just a term for winning all the big titles.

Sebastian: Sports terminology is weird. But thanks, Aiden. I think I get it now.

Aiden: Anytime, Sebastian. Just remember, no actual slamming or running home.